Mirror reflection of self concept
By Muhammad Kabir Yusuf
(El-Hamdany)
In the 48 Laws of Power, Green believes that if someone behaves like a king, he would be treated like one. True or false? Anyway, that one is left for you.
Psychologists believe that:
* Who do you think you are (self-concept) is never a constant image. It changes with time and is influenced by the experiences encountered in the game of life. Friends contribute immensely to the development of one’s self-concept.
*Any person on earth has at least four different types of personalities. These different personalities are mutually influential to the development of one another. They are as follows:
i. Who do you think you are
ii. Who do you think people think you are
iii. Who do really people think of you
iv. Who do people think you think of yourself
Personally, I cannot tell which of the four above represents accurately or even approximately or closely to my personality. I do not know whether you can. The truth of the matter is that each of the above, with a different rate of accuracy or otherwise, represents some parts of my personality.
What then is my personality in the actual sense? Is my personality a mirror reflection of my thought or people’s thought? How possible then can someone cultivate the most accurate image of his own personality. These are some of the most striking questions I do not claim to answer in this piece. But ultimately, a careful observation will categorize people into three based on the way they view their personalities:
Exaggerated image of oneself
A person may think larger than life. I am not talking about that one here. I am talking about the one who views himself as thinking larger than life. The one who never measures his achievements by his luck, but rather by his worthiness and deserving.
Whether or not this is true, such kind a of person may continue to believe that his personality is more important than other people’s. Reflecting in his behaviours, this person may go ahead to make more demands than reasonable from people, expecting them to accord him more respect than he deserves, or even maltreating and humiliating them.
The person with this personality may fail to understand that recognition and respect should be given in accordance with achievements not personalities. Charisma, talent and intelligence are not on their own worthy of respect, unless put to serve a noble cause and made to achieve great ends.
Underrated image of oneself
At the other extreme end are those who never believe in their personalities. They never believe they can make it. Beggars who always chant things like Allah Ya ba ku mu samu belong to this category. In the actual sense, the people in this category are not naturally less able than people in other categories. But because of their self-concept, they always maintain their status as the consumers who are by far larger in number than the productive members in our society.
Moderate image of oneself
Do not expect me to tell you that this is the ideal category. This is because under this category, there are people who are capable of doing much more than they expect, reverse is also the case.
Therefore, I will not tell you to avoid exaggerating or underrating your personality or view your personality as moderately as possible. I will rather tell you that you should try to be yourself, try to actualize your personality and be the very person you are meant to be. One important thing everyone has to understand is that the game of life is just like a mirror, whatever thing you give to it is what you will receive in return.

El-Hamdany wrote in from Kano and can be reached at mkyhamdani@yahoo.com